Wedding Vs. Marriage
Lucy Hamilton
Currently, the divorce rate is extremely high in most industrialized countries, especially compared to less developed countries. Although there are endless factors in this equation, one of the problems that lead to this high divorce rate are people's ideas about marriage, divorce, and weddings. Many young people view getting married as a kind of competition, a status symbol, and a race against the clock and your peers. Part of the high divorce rate may be that young people have a much greater desire for the wedding than the marriage.
Weddings are viewed by many as a very magical event that is to be treasured and shared with nearly everyone they know, which is not necessarily untrue. However, many people also believe that marriage can fix their problems and that "love will overcome," but in many cases getting married can cause additional tension in a relationship. Part of this problem is that many young people grow up going to weddings and seeing everyone very happy and looking their best, which can cause them to equate getting married (ie the wedding) with being married (real life). Therefore they often see weddings, but rarely the lifestyle that the being married brings. When people discover that having a wedding did not solve all their problems and that the magic of that day fades, they are no longer as keen on the idea or the person they are married to. Compounding the issue is the fact that we live in a disposable culture that does not value the old, only moving on towards the new.
The wedding as a status symbol is also a cause for divorce. Many women and men look at getting married as something you do once you are mature enough, which for many people mean when you get out of high school. People with this mentality often seek out people who will marry them, and not necessarily the best life-partner for them. For this group, certain details of their wedding may take precedence over who they are marrying, and some even set a timeline for getting married, regardless of what their current relationship status is.
It is a shame that western society has such a high divorce rate. However, considering our attitudes and what we reward, the high divorce rate is no surprise. You can easily tell what a society values by examining its wedding and marriages. In our culture it is very easy to get divorced, and even easier to get married. In less-developed countries it can be nearly impossible to get a divorce and marriage must typically be approved by a group of elders or parents. In some cultures, marriage is so respected that men may be allowed to marry a second wife if his first wife is infertile. In this way, the first marriage can be saved. While this is extreme, it illustrates the huge difference in the how societies value marriage. These cultures place more emphasis on fulfilling the wedding vows than the wedding ceremony itself.
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